ALL KNOWN SOUND OB-JECTS THEM AIRS OWN AND USE
OR HAVE OWNED AND HAVE USED

Purchased by CADE from GUITAR CENTER DANBURY for 200 dollars below market value as it has two MASSIVE HOLES in the pickguard to facilitate the STUPID ASS TRUSS ROD DESIGN
Used as main live guitar for STANDARD TUNING

Purchased off EBAY by CADE in 2016 for THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS due to the refinishing with TEXTURED GREY SPRAYPAINT and SANDPAPER SELF-VINTAGING
Used on roughly 40% of TIGER BLOOD for OBNOXIOUS FEEDBACK and CLEANS
modified with SYD QUARTER POUND PICKUPS and STAYTREM and FUNNY WORDS
ALL FRETS removed during the recording of ECHO PARK BOMB CITY resulting in a generally COMICAL INSTRUMENT
Currently resides at THE BEACH where it AWAITS REPAIRS for SUBSTANTIAL DAMAGE sustained during live recording of "BOB STEFANOWSKI SUCK MY FAT COCK"

Built by CADE with a SQUIER STRATOCASTER body, G&L electronics and a FAT BASEBALL BAT NECK made by his COUSIN

Acquired between ECHO PARK BOMB CITY and UNION SUIT XL by CADE to replace SEAFOAM DUO SONIC
An analgamation of a 90S JAPANESE JAZZMASTER BODY, 2000S USA STRAT NECK, 90S MUSTANG BRIDGE, 2010S JAZZMASTER ELECTRONICS, and LOLLAR P90 PICKUPS
Pickups wired OUT OF PHASE for EXTRA PIERCING BRIGHT TONES
REFLECTIVE GOLD PICKGUARD used to beam COSMIC RAYS at audiences

Acquired by CADE from a LOCAL WOOKIE for 350 dollars
Very similar to the SQUIER S3 but has COIL SPLITTING which is SICK
VOMIT SEAFOAM COLOR formerly covered in HEMP LEAF STICKERS
Is a continuation of CADE's infatuation with TINY GUITARS that look VERY STUPID on a NORMAL SIZED HUMAN
Upgrades include KLUSON TUNERS and a LACE SENSOR neck pickup

Purchased off CRAIGSLIST by ADAM, modified with CLEAN WHITE PICKGUARD
Used on TIGER BLOOD for songs that requires SWEET WHAMMY DIVES or GLIDE STRUMMING
Resides at BOWDOIN UNIVERSITY

Possibly CADE's longest lasting guitar
Used exclusively on CANT PAVE LOVE, often on TIGER BLOOD, sparingly on ECHO PARK BOMB CITY and not at all on UNION SUIT XL
Kept primarily in DAEAAA TUNING
modified with GIBSON P90 PICKUPS and SWEET SEA FOAM GREEN PAINTJOB
SELECTOR SWITCH glued permanently to BRIDGE POSITION
Once had a built in mid cut switch but it was removed by CADE for sounding like COMPLETE GARBO
Currently resides at THE BEACH slowly losing its GREEN PAINT

Purchased by EVAN at LOCAL SAM ASH for DECENT USED PRICE
Used on JUNIOR CRISIS 1977 by CADE and EVAN whilst badly trying to emulate the guitar tone of THE HECKS' self-titled LONG PLAY
Primary guitar used by live guitarist unit HAYDEN
Currently resides in MIDDLE OF NOWHERE STUDIOS gathering HOG DUST and MELON PARTS

Second cheapest guitar available from SQUIER GUITARS
Sounds worse than MOST FIRST ACTS
Kept in standard tuning and used to play ANTI FAUNA live
Covered in COLLAGE ART by EVAN
Resides at THE BEACH

Obtained by CADE shortly after UNION SUIT XL
Allows CADE to encroach upon ADAM's frequency range
Main guitar used on DOPED RUNNER VERSE
Has invited endless comparisons to BLACK MIDI from showgoers

Purchased by ADAM from an EASTERN CONNECTICUT ENIGMA somewhere deep in THE STICKS
Has proved to be a SUPERIOR EARLY 1980s BASS to the VANTAGE VS600B
Current LIVE BASS for ADAM

Purchased by ADAM from a MEDICAL MAN
Praised by THEM AIRS for its SWEET JAPANESE DISCO TONE and EXPERT CRAFTSMANSHIP
Primary bass used on UNION SUIT XL and DOPED RUNNER VERSE

Purchased by ADAM after the recording of TIGER BLOOD because KIM GORDON used one
Primary bass used on ECHO PARK BOMB CITY

Purchased by ADAM off CRAIGSLIST
Used on TIGER BLOOD
Resides at BOWDOIN UNIVERSITY with the JC77 and CHADMASTER

Purchased by CADE new in 2014 for high school band SUBTERFUDGE
Used as main recording bass on TIGER BLOOD and CANT PAVE LOVE
Universally hated by THEM AIRS for its TERRIBLE WIMPY SOUND and POOR AESTHETIC
In 2016 LARGE SUBTERFUDGE DECAL was covered with EVEN LARGER PRESONUS DECAL
Traded for EMINENCE HALF STACK CABINET in 2018 to man with both RUSH SHIRT and RUSH PANTS

Purchased after the recording of TIGER BLOOD
Used prominently on ECHO PARK BOMB CITY and live by TAL to create SOUND
Is renowned for its GOOD WORK in THEM AIRS
Currently resides at THE BEACH

Official THEM AIRS MASCOT
Purchased by EVAN at GOODWILL for $4.99 and still has PRICE STICKERS on bottom
Used to create DIGITAL ORGAN DRONES and as a PARTIALLY SUCCESSFUL METRONOME
Has THRIVED in spite of INCIDENTS such as FLYING OUT OF CADE'S TRUCK onto SOLID PAVEMENT and losing one of its PLASTIC NON-WEIGHTED KEYS
Currently resides among the CLUTTER of a SUNY PURCHASE DORM ROOM after being rescued from CHINESE RIVERBED

Purchased at GARAGE SALE by EVAN when he was in 6TH GRADE
Used on albums to create drones using its EXTENSIVE INSTANT SAMPLING CAPABILITIES
Currently resides in HELL

Purchased by EVAN off CRAIGSLIST in BARELY OPERATIONAL CONDITION
BIGGER, RARER cousin of CASIO SK-1
Used in place of the SK-1 on UNION SUIT XL due to its ability to STORE 4 SAMPLES AT ONCE and REVERSE THEM

Originally used by CADE'S MOTHER for her cover band CRYIN' SHAME
Gets its nickname from its two built in speakers being obscured by LETTER STICKERS bought at PEP BOYS spelling out EGGY and LOAM
Used as MIDI CONTROLLER for VOLCA FM on album TIGER BLOOD and as bass synth on CANT PAVE LOVE
Generally phased out after CANT PAVE LOVE in favor of the KORG MINILOGUE and OLD CASIO KEYBOARDS
Currently resides at THE BEACH in PARTIALLY FUNCTIONAL condition

Used for synth patches on NOTHING GROWS HERE, HOLD ON SEDIMENT, SIX FOOT TEN, and SATs
Too SMALL to use onstage so is generally replaced with EVANS CASIO MT68
Currently resides in an UNKNOWN LOCATION (LIKELY ORANGE TOWN DUMP)

Inherited by EVAN from his father
Emits several kinds of PRIMITIVE BLOOP SOUNDS
Has a built in CALCULATOR for some reason

Purchased by EVAN from a man in an IKEA PARKING LOT
One of the easiest classic 80S SYNTHS to obtain because NO ONE WANTS THEM
Used in several places on UNION SUIT XL and prominently in CALVING

Permanently sits in the corner of EVAN'S LIVING ROOM
Hasn't been tuned in 15 YEARS
Is likely the PIANO you are hearing if a PIANO appears in a THEM AIRS song

Obtained by CADE shortly before the recording of UNION SUIT XL
Prized for its PORTABILITY and IDEAL SPRING REVERB
Its PIERCING POST-PUNK TONE is the sonic equivalent of SOVIET HOUSING BLOCKS

Obscure Italian amp acquired by CADE in exchange for his GIANT IMPRACTICAL MESA HALFSTACK
Has SICK BLUES TONE and HOT SPRING REVERB
RIDICULOUSLY LIGHT which makes bringing it to gigs VERY EASY
GREAT TONES offset by HORRIBLE VISUAL AESTHETIC and OFF CENTER SPEAKER PLACEMENT

Used for SHITTY CLEAN LEADS on TIGER BLOOD and Cades LIVE AMPLIFIER for pre-TIGER BLOOD shows
Currently resides at BOWDOIN UNIVERSITY in NEW BRUNSWICK where its FREEZING COLD SOLID STATE TONES match the LOCAL CLIMATE

Primary amp used by CADE on TIGER BLOOD
Remembered FONDLY by the band due to its COOL SPACE AGE AESTHETIC and EXCELLENT SPRING REVERB
PAWNED OFF due to potential FLAMMABILITY

Used by CADE to record all of CANT PAVE LOVE
The MID SCOOPED CLEAN CHANNEL, along with the BIG MUFF PI TONE WICKER, is responsible for the ear-straining lack of MIDRANGE FREQUENCIES on the record
Handle removed circa 2016 in order to facilitate more stable MARSHALL STACKS
currently resides at ORANGE PAWN

Used by CADE between TIGER BLOOD and ECHO PARK BOMB CITY in conjunction with a HULKING MESA CAB
Ultimately PAWNED OFF due to LACK OF MIDS and proceeded to be replaced by SEVERAL OTHER HEADS until CADE decided to RETIRE the stack setup ENTIRELY

Used as a live KEYBOARD AMP for TAL
STRUGGLES to be heard above the DIN during THEM AIRS practice sessions

In a constant state of EVOLUTION
Requires either a COWBELL or an LP JAM BLOCK at ALL TIMES

Owned by EVAN since AGE 3
Incapable of producing GOOD SOUNDS but aligns with THEM AIRS' tendency to adopt UNDESIRABLE Y2K-ERA GEAR
Ocassionally used LIVE as a supplement for HALF OF EVAN'S DRUM KIT during ECHO PARK BOMB CITY era
Provides the THWACK sound in SLAG HEAP

Purchased secondhand with REVENUE from the occasional MERCH SALE
Better suited for LIVE PERFORMANCE than the AKAI MPX8 which preceded it but still FAIRLY JANKY
Used by EVAN live and in studio to trigger sounds while PLAYIN' THE DRUM

Purchased UNOPENED IN BOX from a woman in a SMART CAR
CHEAPEST sampler on the market
Previously used live to trigger sounds including LO-FI CRICKET AMBIENCE and in the studio for its built in 808 SAMPLES
NO LONGER FUNCTIONING due to SHODDY BUILD QUALITY coupled with particularly ROWDY LIVE PERFORMANCES

THUMB PIANO made from a COFFEE CAN with CONTACT MICS taped to it by EVAN
Capable of producing 5 NOTES, all outside of STANDARD TUNING
Used in several spots on UNION SUIT XL

Used by CADE and EVAN in several spots on UNION SUIT XL and DOPED RUNNER VERSE
Currently has 3 STRINGS

Owned by ADAM from an early age
Appears in several THEM AIRS promo photos and can be identified by the image of a HORSE'S HEAD on the body
Used most prominently in DREAMT OF A HOUSE

DIGITECH VOCAL 300
BIG MUFF PI TONE WICKER FUZZ
MXR M68 UNI-VIBE
DIGITECH RP250 MULTI-FX UNIT
EHX MEMORY BOY DELAY "MEM BO"
CATALINBREAD KARMA SUTURE "VAGINA FUZZ"
MXR DYNA COMP
CATALINBREAD TOPANGA SPRING REVERB
TC HELICON VOICETONE D1 (CADE FUNNY VOICE)
TC HELICON VOICETONE H1 (EVAN FUNNY VOICE)
BOSS DS1 DISTORTION (TERRIBLE)
MAXON TUBESCREAMER
TC ELECTRONICS SHAKER
UNBRANDED WAH WITH PICTURE OF STEPHEN MALKMUS SAYING THE WORD "PEE" TAPED TO IT
PROCO RAT2
FULLTONE DISTORTION PRO
DOD GONKULATOR
DIGITECH PDS REVERB
IBANEZ VINTAGE EQ (80S)
CATALINBREAD MAG ECHO
EHX GERMANIUM 4
EARTHQUAKER PITCH BAY
DONNER HARMONIC SQUARE
CROWTHER HOTCAKE
BOSS SUPER SHIFTER PS-5
EHX SMALL STONE PHASER
EQD RAINBOW MACHINE
EQD DISASTER TRANSPORT
TC ELECTRONICS RUSTY FUZZ
BOSS SD1
EHX MEL9
EHX MONO SYNTH
XOTIC SP COMPRESSOR
EHX SOUL FOOD
BOSS RC3 LOOPER
EHX HOLY GRAIL BIG BOX REVERB (80S)
EQD PARK FUZZ
ALESIS MIDIVERB 2


I WISH I HAD A VIDEO CAMERA!